Websters 1828 Dictionary defines COMMUNICATION as 1. The act of imparting, conferring, or delivering, from one to another; as the communication of knowledge, opinions or facts. 2. Intercourse by words, letters or messages; interchange of thoughts or opinions, by conference or other means.
I am 26 years old and in the last 8 years, I have found COMMUNICATION to be VITAL. I understand and am continuing to understand how important it is in every aspect of life. One of the most important areas is in MARRIAGE.
A couple doesn’t need to be married for long to realize that COMMUNICATION is a key aspect to an effective and continuing relationship. J.Cabal
COMMUNICATION can come in different forms. I am currently re-reading the book, “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman. Since I started, I have discovered that what I thought was my husband’s main love language wasn’t actually his main love language!
You see, different people communicate in different ways.
(Taken from “The Five Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman)
1) Some communicate through time spent together
2) Some through giving gifts
3) Some through touch
4) Some through words of affirmation/encouraging words
5) Some through acts of service.
“Failing to know how your spouse communicates best is failing to understand what your spouse is communicating!” J. Cabal
If I am the type of person that communicates best by wanting to spend time with my husband and my husband communicates best by words of affirmation, He should not be communicating to me with words of affirmation, simply because I won’t understand what he wants me to understand. It’s like trying to speak Chinese to someone who is American. It’s just not the same…
“Speaking to your spouse in YOUR BEST WAY of communication will not necessarily guarantee joyful acceptance of it because it may not be his/her BEST FORM of communication. J.Cabal
There were several times in my marriage when I “expected” my husband to do or say something, but I had failed to communicate that to him…so when that time came when I wanted or expected something to be done (and it wasn’t), I was already frustrated and angry that it had not been done, or sometimes, not done the way I wanted.
So, you may be at the point in your life where you’ve been wondering why your spouse CANNOT get your hints, CANNOT understand you (no matter how S L OOOOOOOO W you say something or how many times you repeat it), and you are about fed-up with your relationship. Nothing seems to work.
FRIEND, TRY THIS:
- Set aside a time daily or weekly for you and your spouse to tell each other what you would like for them to do this week. (See what we use below!)
- If last minute things come up and “ruin” the plans you had already set, it’s a-ok! Don’t let it ruin the rest of the week.
- Once something you wanted to get accomplished gets accomplished, thank and praise your spouse. (Give him a kiss, even!)
- At the end of the week, look back on what could’ve been better communicated or worked on from both sides.
“A marriage that is to continue growing in love, grace, and forgiveness must involve faithful and effective communication from both parties.” – JudyLynn Cabal
Please let me know in the comments if you’ve read the book, “The Five Love Languages” and what your love language is.