Mom, You Matter!

Has anyone ever told you that you were unworthy, not enough, or that you didn’t matter?

I’m sure more often than not, you have been told either one of these; whether it be from a family member, a friend, or even a teacher. However, there is one person who whispers in our ears and if we aren’t careful, we listen to what he says and that is none other than the devil.

The devil would like nothing more for mothers than to see them fail at what they’ve been given. 

Moms have such a great influence whether they believe it to or not and whether they admit it or not. I mean, can you imagine a world without moms? I can’t, because that is impossible!

Mothers have a role that play a big part in the puzzle that we call Life. Without them, life would definitely be incomplete and be missing that one vital piece.

Now, there may be a few men reading this who play the role as both mother and father in the lives of their children. Please don’t shut me out.

From someone like me who was raised by a Father the majority of my life, I can honestly tell you that YOU MATTER! If you ever feel like you’re alone, remember that you are not. God is there to help you and guide you!

Psalm 16:11 says, “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”

Sure, you may not be able to meet the same needs as a Mother would, but if single-parenting is what God has put your way, all you can do is make the best with what you have.

Being raised by my dad for almost 20 years before my Mom came into the picture physically, did not result in the worst life ever for me. In fact, I am the person I am today because of the trials that God allowed me to face and the choices I made.

I admit that there were times when I questioned God because all my friends had a mom they could confide in, talk to whenever they were going through a girl-problem, or walk them down the aisle, Was it right for me to do that? NO. Was it human? YES.

And that is exactly what we are, Moms. 

WE ARE HUMAN. We make mistakes. We fail everyday and a lot of times, we become discontent with how we look. Now, don’t get me wrong. If you can better yourself, I’m all for you. But what I mean is, we tend to compare ourselves with other moms. We see how they seem to “have-it-all” together and here we are, barely “having it!”

“Although the pictures we see on Social Media can be worth a thousand words, many times, they don’t show ALL THE WORDS.” J.Cabal

A mom can have a smile on and the world can think she’s the happiest person but in reality, she can be struggling with something.

A mom can seem like she has the best job ever when in reality she’s barely making ends meet.

A mom can look like she has the “perfect life” with the “perfect family” but who are we kidding? There is no such thing!

We all have been given different lives but one thing we have in common is motherhood or parenthood.

The Bible says in Luke 12:48b, “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required:” 

We can all agree that being a mom is a great blessing if not the greatest, which means that it is considered “MUCH.” And according to that verse, when much is given, much is required.

I don’t mean to put a lot of pressure but I’m just quoting the Bible.

GOD REQUIRES A LOT FROM US. You can take that as something to encourage you to be a better mom or you can ignore it and reap the results of YOUR PARENTING, without Biblical wisdom or guidance.

If God has given us such an important role, then that must mean one thing: WE MATTER!

MOMS, WE MATTER! We are more important than we sometimes believe. Your words matter and your actions matter! How you say something and when you say something matters! How you treat your spouse and how you talk to your spouse matters!

Your love, care, support, prayers, advice, and time matter! So…

Love unconditionally! 

Care Sincerely! 

Support Consistently! 

Pray Fervently! 

Advise when Necessary! 

And Give of your Time Willingly! 

I’ll end with this. God can easily do anything. He doesn’t NEED us but He wants to USE us for the sole purpose of bringing glory to His name! To be used of God is a privilege, not an obligation, which is why we have a choice. We can choose to let Him lead us or we can choose to be led by something or someone else. Whatever we choose, don’t forget, our choice will affect our children because WE MATTER and WHAT WE DO MATTERS!

***Featured Photo by London Scout on Unsplash!

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5 Phrases Your Child Says & What They Mean

If you didn’t already know, I have two daughters; one who will be three in April and the other who turned one last year in October. Lately, I’ve been thinking about Words and the importance of them.

As a parent, we could either use our words wisely or foolishly.

“Our words can be helpful or hurtful.”

I have been observing my first-born and have noticed several phrases that she says and if I’m not careful, they’re just sounds rather than words with meaning.

If you can relate to me, I’d appreciate it if you would share this post to remind other moms & dads the importance of our words.

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“MOMMY / DADDY, LOOK AT ME!”

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They need AND want your attention. Children need AND want to know that they are being noticed; that someone is watching them and realizing their accomplishments or milestones in life. I am so guilty of being on my phone, sometimes around my children; (whether it be for work or to be on social media). While those aren’t necessarily bad, I wonder what my toddler thinks when I’m on my phone rather than pay attention to her? Moms, let’s do better and be better for them. The phone can wait… but the time with your child cannot be taken back.

“I DID IT, MOMMY / DADDY!”

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I didn’t have my mom around, growing up. I left the Philippines to come to the US, along with my dad & older sibling when I was 5 and we left my mom and two younger siblings. I didn’t get to say the words, “I did it, Mommy” when I got an award or won something at school. My dad was in the Military and most of my elementary to Jr. high years, my dad wasn’t around either.  So I didn’t get the “Praise” or “Congratulations” that I longed for…

Now, that I have my own family and am raising my two wonderful daughters with my amazing husband, I am careful to constantly give praise, encouragement, or congratulations when I hear the words, “I did it, Mommy!” However, I know that there is always room for improvement.

Children long for you to praise them; to let them know that YOU SAW the great deed that they did. Whether it be obeying you, helping you do chores around the house, or sharing with others, children want to hear something from you when they do or say something right. They want affirmation. I read online recently that “the lack of both parents’ affirmation leaves some children emotionally crippled.”

While I was emotionally effected that I didn’t have both of parents’ affirmation, I am so thankful that my Almighty God did not forsake me. (Psalm 27:10) And it is only by God’s grace that I am what I am today.

Not only do children want you to praise them, but they want you to sincerely mean what you say. They`want to see on your face that whatever comes out of your mouth is genuine, not two-faced or double-standard, which leads us to our next phrase…

“THAT’S BAD-BAD, MOMMY/ DADDY!”

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           Whether you like it or not or whether you believe it or not, you are your child’s role model. They look up to you for most, if not everything. Whatever you say, whatever you like, whatever you listen to or watch, they want to have a part in that. They truly believe in their heart that their mom and dad are the best people in the world (unless of course, they are hypocrites – they say one thing but do the exact opposite). In the case of hypocrisy… well, that’s for another blog post!

Children are smarter than we think. They catch on to the littlest things we do or say. Not only do you make it difficult for your child to respect you, but it becomes difficult on the family as a whole when the parents act differently from what they say.

We are not against Technology. In fact, my husband and I love it and are so appreciative of it! My daughter uses our iPad to watch videos on Youtube. If there is a certain song or type of song or video that comes on and Mommy & Daddy don’t approve of it, she knows to change it… Sometimes, she needs to be reminded but if you start training your children early enough, they’ll catch on. If you have children that are already in school and you feel like it’s too late to start training them, then friend, let me tell you that it’s not. There’s always hope. It probably won’t be as easy as if you had done it sooner but it’s NEVER too late to start. AND DON’T FORGET TO BE CONSISTENT and don’t let them get away with anything!

“I’M SORRY, MOMMY/ DADDY.”

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       Kids will be kids. They do foolish things at times but that isn’t a reason for us parents to love them less. In fact, it’s for us to show them more love. When a child says, “I’m sorry,” they are demonstrating humility. They understand that what they did wasn’t acceptable. However, it should’t stop there. As parents, we should ask them (don’t tell them, unless they really, absolutely do not know why) if they know what they did wrong. After asking them, we should tell them that when they do something wrong, it doesn’t just affect them. It hurts Mommy, Daddy, Jesus, and whomever they hurt or offended.

Remember, no one is perfect. You and I both make mistakes. So let’s stop expecting our children to be something they aren’t. They are still learning just as we are as parents. No one has this “Parenting Thing” down and neither is any child an expert at being a child. In addition, each child is different. God made each person unique. Some learn quicker, others slower; Some need more attention than others. So let’s not expect or treat them like they’re perfect, because that will only make things worse.

“MOMMY / DADDY, PLEASE HELP ME.”

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One thing I love and sometimes “dislike” (just because I don’t want use the word, hate) about children is their dependency on us as parents. When I first became a mom in 2014, I loved that my child depended on me to carry her, comfort her, and adore her but there were times when I was so tired that all I wanted to do was sleep but she wanted to eat, play, get her diaper changed, or be carried.

As the years went by, my first-born learned to be a little less dependent on me and a little more dependent on herself. Now, she can feed herself, go to the potty (still with a little assistance getting onto the toilet), and play house with her toys. All this self-dependency comes in handy when I want to take a nap or get some chores done.

But when I hear those words, “Please help me,” my child is trying to get her message across to me that she needs assistance or maybe just a little boost (physically or mentally) to accomplish something. What I love about doing this is hearing her next words, “Thank you, Mommy!” They are dependent on you for some things but when you assist them, they learn how to appreciate you and the help you give them. You don’t have to always tell them,“When someone helps you or does something nice for you, say ‘Thank you’,  you can just show them in your everyday life and they will catch on and remember that.

There will be times when they ask for your help when you are busy; you either have to tell them to be patient and wait till Mommy /Daddy is done or stop whatever you are doing and help them. I am guilty of sometimes getting frustrated when my LG asks for help during the “wrong times” (at least in my book), but she sees that and she remembers it. It may even cause her to think that asking for help is a bad thing when it really isn’t. Then, when we ask them, “Why didn’t you ask for my help?” They are thinking to themselves, “Well, when I asked you for help last time, you were too busy” or “I thought it was wrong to ask you for help.”

So, the next time your child asks for your help, do it lovingly and joyfully.

In conclusion,

  • Our words can either HELP or HURT others.
  • Your children WANT and NEED your attention; make sure you are watching them and realizing their accomplishments and milestones in life.
  • A word of encouragement can go a long way; Build your children up; don’t tear them down.
  • Children are smarter than we think or care to admit. They learn a lot more by what they SEE, rather than what they HEAR. Be an example that they would be proud to follow.
  • Kids will be kids. They will do foolish things which is why God has placed PARENTS in their lives – to teach and train them.
  • The days may seem long at times but the years are short. Cherish the moments with your children. Don’t get frustrated when your children depend on you. You have the opportunity to show them the Greatest love of all, Christ’s love and how we also depend on Him as our Heavenly father.

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***Don’t forget to share this post on Facebook and Pinterest if you found it to be helpful.

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***Featured photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash!

11 Misconceptions of Full- Time Christian Ministry Workers

I didn’t have the privilege of growing up in a Christian home but I did have the privilege of attending a Christian school the last two years of high school. I have friends who are now in full-time Christian Ministry and others who are working at secular jobs. Over my “official” years of being in Christian Ministry, I have been constantly reminded of a few things.

I. I am reminded that surrendering your life to serve the Lord isn’t a burden, but a blessing. Yes, there are burdens that you will carry as a minister of Christ but the blessings He pours far outweigh any of those burdens.

II. Being called to serve the Lord takes faith. You are trusting that if you surrender to God’s call for your life,the Lord will provide the needs of you and your family.

11 MISCONCEPTIONS of Full-Time Ministry Workers:

      1. Since he/she works at the church, teaches at a private school, preaches at Christian camps or cleans the toilets at church, he must be “more-called” than someone who isn’t working in either of those areas.

No Christian is “more-called” than another Christian. God calls us to do different things and calls us, not according to who we are or what we are capable of doing, but according to HIS OWN PURPOSE, which he established BEFORE the world began.

Matthew 22:14 |1 Corinthians 1:26 | Philippians 1:6 | 2 Timothy 1:9

      2. Since you work in a Christian environment, everyone will be Christ-like ALL.THE.TIME.

NOPE! It’s best if everyone in your work environment is a Christian but sadly, even in Christian workplaces, there are unsaved employees or staff members. Your job is TO STILL BE Salt & Light. Someone once told me, “One of the easiest places to backslide is in a Christian workplace or environment.”  

Matthew 5:16

      3.  Since you work at the church and are getting paid for it, you should be part of most, if not all the ministries & no one else should lead those ministries except those on staff.

TOTALLY FALSE! I’ll be honest, I hate that mentality. As staff members of a church or Christian organization, our job is to assist the Pastor or Leader. Yes, we should SET THE EXAMPLE and be involved in the ministries provided but to DO ALL OF THEM or LIMIT THE LEADERS OF THOSE MINISTRIES to ONLY Staff members is unhealthy and absolutely ridiculous.

       4.   Since you are an employee at the church, you should be present EVERY. SINGLE. TIME the church doors are open. 

I remember trying to convince myself when I first started growing as a new Christian that I would be at church any time and every time the church doors were open… Although that isn’t necessarily bad, we can use that as our reason for serving… to make sure that we are “seen” any time and every time something is going on at church. If we aren’t careful, we become “PERFORMANCE” Christians rather than “WORSHIPPING” Christians.  We end up doing things for people rather than serving to worship God. 

Although church is great place to fellowship with other Believers, we should go to church for the main purpose of Worshipping God, not fellowshipping with others.

      5. Since you are a “Full-Time” Christian minister/worker, you must read your Bible all the time and live a consecrated life; or what others may consider, “not knowing how to have fun.”

Being a Christian doesn’t mean that you are NO LONGER Human. You are very much human! In fact, as a Christian, you have more to wrestle with… you are in constant battles with your flesh and the Spirit that now lives in you as a child of God.

There will be times when you will forget or fail to prioritize reading your Bible or praying.

There will be times when you will say things that you wish you would have never said.

There will be times when you give in to your flesh rather than being led by the Holy Spirit.

BUT, a Child of God doesn’t give up…

If you missed reading your Bible or praying one day, get back up and start again.

If you haven’t been in church in so long, get back up and start going again. (Don’t worry about what others may say)

And who ever said that Christians don’t know how to have fun??!??

We have the most fun! Sure, we may not be out there at the bars every weekend, and we are so glad we aren’t! Because who would want to party all night and wake up the next morning trying to remember what happened or “who” happened? Definitely, not me!

      6. Since you “get paid” to serve the Lord, you should be the one that’s faithful in giving your tithes and offerings. 

God did not just command those in Christian Ministry to be faithful in giving their Tithes and Offerings. He has called every  Christian to give. I mean if you read the verses after each of these verses, you would be crazy not to want to give back to God. After all, every thing we have is His.

Proverbs 3:9  | Malachi 3:8 |   Malachi 3:10  | Proverbs 3:9

        7. Since you have surrendered your life to serve the Lord, your kids will be upright and perfect and CANNOT or “ARE NOT ALLOWED” to make mistakes and be kids.

Puh-lease!!! Kids will be kids. For the longest time, I had these high expectations of anyone that was a Pastor’s Kid, Missionary’s Kid, or Kids with Parents in Full-Time Ministry. But I’ve come to realize that just because someone is a Pastor’s kid doesn’t make them more of saint than someone who isn’t a Pastor’s kid. Sure, we will have our expectations but we shouldn’t be surprised if “that” child acts just any other child.

       8. Since you work at church, your life is much more easier than the person who is working at a secular job, doing their best to be “Salt & Light.”

I’ve worked at both secular and ministry jobs. Being at a secular job takes a lot of courage because every day, you are bombarded with things of this world; temptations, curiosity, lust, etc. However, being at a ministry job still requires you to stand up when other “Christians” don’t necessarily act or talk like Christians; There are temptations many Full-Time Ministry Workers face and sadly sometimes, they are similar to what those at secular jobs face.

      9. Since you work in “full-time” Christian Ministry, you have “in” on all the drama and gossip that’s going around.

As much as many believe that, it’s not true to every Christian Ministry. In fact, many Ministry Workers would prefer not to know a lot of stuff, simply because it’s another “burden” they will have to carry. So, no! We don’t know all the drama and gossip in the church and as much as our “nosy”-selves may want to know, we really don’t want to have a part.

    10. Since you work in full-time Christian Ministry, you are more honored and preferred by visiting preachers than the person who just got off work and is sitting, trying to fight their sleep. 

Not true! Sometimes, visiting preachers may remember the names of those that are Ministry Workers easily because they can associate them with a title, such as Mr. D. Harriss – Youth Pastor. But that doesn’t mean that they are more appreciated than some faithful laymen who comes service after service, despite their busy work schedule. In fact, in my opinion, they have a deeper appreciation for those who work secular jobs and are still faithful!

11. Since you are in full-time Christian Ministry, you have more time to get stuff done and can easily serve the Lord.

Honestly, everyone has the same amount time – twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Sure, doing stuff at the church is part of our “job” but that doesn’t mean that we have more time or an easier time to serve the Lord. Sometimes, working at a church is harder than it looks or sounds. There’s a constant reminder to be flexible, be available, and meet expectations on top of your regular life as a parent, spouse, or friend. So going back to the first misconception about Ministry Workers being “more called,” remember, before the world began, God already knew what your purpose was; what your calling was.

This post is in no way a means of comparing Full-Time Christian Ministry Workers and those working at Secular Jobs. It is not meant to put one “higher” than the other but to have a better understanding and to set things straight. Sometimes, what you think and assume isn’t really the truth.

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These are just 11 Misconceptions. I am positive that there are more but if you are a Full-Time Christian Worker, no matter what some one expects from you, remember, you are REALLY, TRULY serving the Lord, not people. (But you must still show your good works to people, so that they may see Christ in you).

If you are a Christian who isn’t in Full-Time Christian Ministry, I hope you have a better understanding and different view of those who are in Full-Time Christian Ministry. Just like you, they are just trying to serve the Lord. They are just doing it differently. Sure, it may include their paycheck but it is God who called them. They could’ve easily fulfilled another calling but the highest calling is whatever God called you to do, whether it be in Ministry or at a Secular Job. 

***Featured Photo by Ben White on Unsplash!

10 Ways to be a Help Meet

I am so excited for this coming March, not because we’ll have a crazy work schedule but because my husband and I will be celebrating 4 years of marriage!!! Crazy, right?!? We were just these little high schoolers who dated each other and caused a lot of drama and then ended up going to college & graduating together! Time flies too fast, especially when you’re having fun!

I decided to jot down 10 ways that I am still trying to “master” and I put that in quotes because marriage is not something you master; marriage is something that you continually work at and eventually reap the benefits of.

Now, take note that not every marriage is the same… there will be similarities but don’t assume that because these things work for me, they will for you too. I am merely just sharing from MY MARRIAGE & hope that you can find at least ONE thing you can implement or continue to do in yours.

Without further ado,

1) Tell your spouse VERBALLY how much you love him. How many times do we get so caught up with “LIFE” that we sometimes forget to say those three words – “I.LOVE.YOU”? My husband is better at reminding me that he loves me than I am of reminding him.  I am so horrible at this. At times, my husband would say those three special words but crazy me, my mind or attention would be somewhere else and I easily forget how special those words are and just for the sake of getting it done, I say them… blatantly & with little sincerity. David usually likes for me to look into his eyes and say those words. I am so guilty and my prayer is to improve in this area.Well, it’s a New Year and you and I can do new things, starting with our marriages.

2) Pray for him DAILY. If you didn’t already know, marriages are under attack. The devil would love to see God’s meaning of Marriage become twisted, perverted, & unappreciated. As a wife, it is my duty and privilege to pray for my husband, especially since God has made him the Head of our home. If the head of the household is not in lined with God’s Word, it’s harder for the rest of the family to follow him. So pray for him, earnestly, faithfully, and sincerely. Here are a few ways I found on Pinterest:

a) From Head to Toe 

b) 1-Week Prayer Guide

c) 5 Prayers to Daily Pray

3) Praise him in front of your children as often as possible. Your children need to see that their “Daddy” isn’t just a man, he’s thee man! He should be the handsomest, most hardworking, most amazing man they will ever come into contact with. They should (when the right time comes) desire to marry someone like Daddy.

4) Praise him in front of others. With all the technology we have now, it’s so easy to let the “whole world” know anything and everything! If we have that capability, why not let the “whole world” know that you married the most incredible guy on planet earth (even though they may not think so). I mean, when was the last time you PRAISED your spouse on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter?

“Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.” (Prov. 31:23)

Here is a 1-week Praise Guide from Rachel Wojo.

5) Admire him like you used to during your “dating” years. Of course, dating each other shouldn’t end after marriage. Rather, it should continue. But what I mean is, “look” at him, “treat” him, and “adore” him like you did BEFORE you got married. Admiration for your spouse shouldn’t stop at the beginning of your marriage but should continue AND continue to grow as the years go.

6)“Criticize” him. It’s often that those closest to us can become our biggest critics. Criticism isn’t always bad. There’s a right WAY and as I’ve learned the hard way, a RIGHT TIME to criticize. Before you say something to your husband, practice saying it to yourself in a discrete and sweet way. For the longest time, my husband did not take my criticisms so well and mainly due to HOW I said them rather than WHAT I said. For example:

Instead of, “Wow, I can’t believe you didn’t understand what I meant when I said….”

Rather say, “Honey/Baby/Sweetheart, was I clear when I said… or was I hard to understand?

Instead of directing it right to him, indirectly direct it to him by directing it to you? (Does that even make sense?) Well, pretty much, have tact and grace.

7) Compliment him. How often do we give compliments to those that aren’t our loved ones? I’ll be honest to admit that I’ve done that more times than I can count. And how sad is it for our spouse to hear more compliments from another co-worker than from his own wife? Be careful! Make sure this isn’t happening in your family.  I have known people, even preachers to fall into sin of this sort and end up leaving a family they “supposedly” loved. Compliment him about everything that you notice. Some may be:

  a) You smell really good right now! I love it when your wear that deodorant.

    b) Thank you for putting gas in the van. I appreciate how thoughtful you were in doing that.

    c) You did a super job taking care of that problem!

    d) You encourage me to reach out and love people more.

You should be a critic to your spouse but more so, his #1 cheerleader! (compliment/or isn’t really a word so cheerleader should suffice) 🙂

8) Elevate his talents. Find something that he’s good at – just one thing. Don’t tell me that he isn’t good at anything because if he wasn’t, why would you have married him in the first place? My husband is very artistic. If he really wanted to, he could’ve been a voice actor, cartoonist, comic book artist, a HOLLYWOOD star but eh… no thanks, I’m keeping this guy all to myself (haha). Your spouse may be a good cook, great gardener, a sports guy, a singer, whatever… JUST FIND SOMETHING & elevate it,  meaning, let him use it in ways that are within your means & calling. Don’t let him lose it… remember, if you don’t use it, you lose it.

9) Do what he “enjoys” once in a while. As humans, it’s quite easy and convenient to do what WE want. We are selfish people by nature. But if you really want to be a help-meet to your spouse, make time for what’s “important” to him. If your spouse enjoys something, then that means it has some level of importance. So go out & fish with him, play some ball, go for a drive, whatever… just do something YOU KNOW he enjoys and don’t wait for him to mention it. Be the one to initiate so he knows that you are actually making an effort.

10) Make him FEEL like he’s the most special person in the world. Apart from Christ, your spouse should be your very best friend. I grew up having best friends, mostly in Grade School to Junior High. During high school, I kind of drifted away from that mentality. However, I do have a few very close friends, whom I am very grateful for. So please don’t get me wrong, if you have girl or guy best friend who is not your spouse, awesome (so long as your friendship is not as intimate as with your spouse). For me, there’s only ONE human person that I would share anything and everything with and that is my husband, who is my best friend. A best friend should feel more special than any regular friend that you have and that is how you should make your spouse feel. Feelings aren’t everything, I know, but there is a reason why God made us with emotions. So with 2017, make him FEEL like he’s beyond special!

And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Gen. 2:18)

You can either be a help-meet to your spouse or a help, meet for him. Either way, God created you so that your husband wouldn’t be alone. 🙂

Just as you joined hands on your Big Day, may you join hands in this journey we call marriage. 

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By God’s Grace,

judylynn

Stop Being a Continual Dropping!

Repetition is the key to learning, right?… or wrong?

I have found this to be a little controversial in marriage with one specific area…(at least in MY marriage). I’m sure most, if not all wives have “NAGGED” their husbands at one time or another during their marriage. I, for sure am guilty of it.

Nagging has a ripple affect just as raindrops do. You start and then you just go on and on and on… even about the really minute things!

raindrops_in_a_puddle_abstract.jpg

Whether it be my husband leaving clothes on the floor, leaving a light on, forgetting to hang something up, so on and so forth; I have nagged him and I’m actually surprised he hasn’t said anything back in our almost 4 years of marriage; at least nothing that would be considered as “biting back.”  (He knows better.. Just kidding!)

He has graciously accepted my nagging.

Now, before you judge my husband, I encourage you to read this article I found recently about not being a “Butthole Wife.” The Title may sound a little funny but it was such a great reminder to me, as I am sure it will be to you.

As a former Elementary teacher, Repetition was a key method to use for a lot of things… However, we can’t treat our spouses like our Elementary students (even when they act like it).

At this moment, you may be wondering what a “CONTINUAL DROPPING” is.

No, it’s not when a bird poos continuously, or when your newborn baby has non-stop diaper changes… or when you have diarrhea! Haha!

I looked up the phrase, “Continual Dropping” in the Bible and found it twice in the Book of Proverbs.

Proverbs 27:15 -“A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”

It’s been raining a lot here at our place and I actually have enjoyed it (mainly because the sun still manages to come out). Now, if it rained here for a whole week straight… I may not enjoy it as much.

If you think about it, if you’re the type of wife, fiance, or girlfriend that is constantly nagging your other half, I’m sure that relationship will be full of strife. Just as a continuous rainy day may not be as enjoyable, a contentious woman is the same – she’s not really an easy one to live or deal with.

Proverbs 19:13b – “…the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.”

I can’t even remember how many times I’ve nagged my husband, and caused contention between us… mainly for me because I set certain expectations that my husband doesn’t really obtain; not because he doesn’t want to but because our priorities for certain things may not be on the same level. For example, after coming home from a long day’s work, my husband may just want to change into comfortable clothes right away to spend time with our girls…Now, I, on the other hand, may want him to help me clean up around the house. (Of course, some of you may be thinking that we just need to communicate that to each other) But that’s not my point… my point is… his higher priority coming home from work is to spend time with our two daughters whom he hasn’t seen all day… And honestly, I would rather prefer that than arguing with him about his leaving clothes on the floor.

Lately, I’ve been thinking… how can I NOT BE a continual dropping as a wife and as a mother?

So, here are 3 ways that I have been “trying.”

  1. Thank God for giving you another day to live. I am positive those that passed away at the airport shooting in Florida weren’t anticipating it to be their last day. It really breaks my heart that someone would do something like that, with no thought of the sanctity of human life. I pray for their families. Each day that is granted to us is a blessing from God and this is a blessing that sadly, many of us forget to thank God for. But how different would our days go if we started with a grateful heart? I’m sure they wouldn’t be perfect all the time but we get to choose how we react to the tasks that we are given or the obstacles that come our way.

828dc91d8dafae6d9eb5d22ecdeb2dad2. Treat every day with your spouse and your children as if it was your last day with them…  I have been saddened to hear news of people passing away because of illnesses or dying due to car accidents, weather accidents, etc. If we just thought about each day as it were our last with those that mean the most to us, I am POSITIVE that we would live it differently and treat “THEM” differently AND better!

3. Train yourself to walk in someone else’s shoes for  “a mile.” Ok, I don’t mean that “mile” part literally but I won’t stop you if you choose to. But really, before we judge someone or treat someone a certain way, think about how their day went (at work, at school, at home…) or what trials they may be going through. How sad would it be for a husband or wife to be treated better at their workplace than at home, right? But sadly, it happens EVERY DAY! A home should be a place that people should look forward to, not dread! The next time you feel frustrated because of your spouse’s lack of _____________ (you fill in the blank)… think about how their day was at work (it may not have gone as well as you think). Or the next time you get angry at your children for doing _____________ or not doing ___________(you fill in the blanks), think about how they feel when both of their parents work… or when they’ve been cooped up in the house “ALL DAY.”

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So, if you’re a wife or mother, (especially) I encourage you to

Stop Being a Continual Dropping!

 

BECAUSE IN THE END, You’ll realize that it was just a waste of your time.

Time that you could’ve used to enjoy picking up those clothes on the floor.

Time that you could’ve used to just “see the need, take the lead” and turn off the unused lights or hang something up.

Time that you could’ve used teaching and forgiving rather than being angry and regretting what you said later on to your little child who was innocent and just needed a little encouragement or push to do the right thing.

TIME…. that unfortunately, you cannot take back. You have already lost it and there is no re-do button.

Instead, you can just press forward with the REMINDER that

TIME IS VALUABLE AND MUST BE SPENT WISELY.

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***Featured Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash!