Mom, You Matter!

Has anyone ever told you that you were unworthy, not enough, or that you didn’t matter?

I’m sure more often than not, you have been told either one of these; whether it be from a family member, a friend, or even a teacher. However, there is one person who whispers in our ears and if we aren’t careful, we listen to what he says and that is none other than the devil.

The devil would like nothing more for mothers than to see them fail at what they’ve been given. 

Moms have such a great influence whether they believe it to or not and whether they admit it or not. I mean, can you imagine a world without moms? I can’t, because that is impossible!

Mothers have a role that play a big part in the puzzle that we call Life. Without them, life would definitely be incomplete and be missing that one vital piece.

Now, there may be a few men reading this who play the role as both mother and father in the lives of their children. Please don’t shut me out.

From someone like me who was raised by a Father the majority of my life, I can honestly tell you that YOU MATTER! If you ever feel like you’re alone, remember that you are not. God is there to help you and guide you!

Psalm 16:11 says, “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”

Sure, you may not be able to meet the same needs as a Mother would, but if single-parenting is what God has put your way, all you can do is make the best with what you have.

Being raised by my dad for almost 20 years before my Mom came into the picture physically, did not result in the worst life ever for me. In fact, I am the person I am today because of the trials that God allowed me to face and the choices I made.

I admit that there were times when I questioned God because all my friends had a mom they could confide in, talk to whenever they were going through a girl-problem, or walk them down the aisle, Was it right for me to do that? NO. Was it human? YES.

And that is exactly what we are, Moms. 

WE ARE HUMAN. We make mistakes. We fail everyday and a lot of times, we become discontent with how we look. Now, don’t get me wrong. If you can better yourself, I’m all for you. But what I mean is, we tend to compare ourselves with other moms. We see how they seem to “have-it-all” together and here we are, barely “having it!”

“Although the pictures we see on Social Media can be worth a thousand words, many times, they don’t show ALL THE WORDS.” J.Cabal

A mom can have a smile on and the world can think she’s the happiest person but in reality, she can be struggling with something.

A mom can seem like she has the best job ever when in reality she’s barely making ends meet.

A mom can look like she has the “perfect life” with the “perfect family” but who are we kidding? There is no such thing!

We all have been given different lives but one thing we have in common is motherhood or parenthood.

The Bible says in Luke 12:48b, “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required:” 

We can all agree that being a mom is a great blessing if not the greatest, which means that it is considered “MUCH.” And according to that verse, when much is given, much is required.

I don’t mean to put a lot of pressure but I’m just quoting the Bible.

GOD REQUIRES A LOT FROM US. You can take that as something to encourage you to be a better mom or you can ignore it and reap the results of YOUR PARENTING, without Biblical wisdom or guidance.

If God has given us such an important role, then that must mean one thing: WE MATTER!

MOMS, WE MATTER! We are more important than we sometimes believe. Your words matter and your actions matter! How you say something and when you say something matters! How you treat your spouse and how you talk to your spouse matters!

Your love, care, support, prayers, advice, and time matter! So…

Love unconditionally! 

Care Sincerely! 

Support Consistently! 

Pray Fervently! 

Advise when Necessary! 

And Give of your Time Willingly! 

I’ll end with this. God can easily do anything. He doesn’t NEED us but He wants to USE us for the sole purpose of bringing glory to His name! To be used of God is a privilege, not an obligation, which is why we have a choice. We can choose to let Him lead us or we can choose to be led by something or someone else. Whatever we choose, don’t forget, our choice will affect our children because WE MATTER and WHAT WE DO MATTERS!

***Featured Photo by London Scout on Unsplash!

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“I Don’t Love You.”

I don’t love you. The words that I never thought I would hear from any of my children, especially at a young age.  Words have a way to lift you up or bring you down.

Unfortunately, today, these four simple words pierced a hole in my heart when they came out of my 3-year old daughter’s mouth and were directed towards me.

Lately, my husband and I have limited what she is allowed to watch due to the negative influence some videos or shows have had on her. Bad parenting? Some say “yes”, others say “no.” But you, as your child’s parent know what is best for YOUR CHILD.

She was whining about something and I tried explaining to her that when she whines, the more I will NOT be able to help her. It’s difficult to understand what someone is saying or wants when they are crying and the same goes for children; in fact, the more difficult it is with children .

She cried for a good 5 minutes. I let her cry because sometimes, that’s what you have to do as a parent – let them cry and wait until they are ready to talk. I took her to a separate room while she continued crying and just waited for her to finish. Then, she said those hurtful words – I DON’T LOVE YOU.

At that moment, I didn’t know if I heard her correctly so I kindly asked her, “What did you say?” and surely enough, she said, “I don’t love you.”

CRAZY, RIGHT?!?

I sat there just staring at her and finally, I told her how mean and hurtful those words were. I could’ve blown up at my daughter but the Lord reminded me how many times I “said” those words to Him; maybe not verbally, but with my actions.

She did eventually cry again, but this time to tell me she was sorry and that she “LOVED ME!” After a few minutes, I got up to brew some coffee and make myself a sandwich. I figured my daughter would want one so I asked her and she replied, “Yes, please.”

As I was making those peanut butter sandwiches, God reminded me, “But I still love you” and that’s exactly how I felt towards my daughter and I had an opportunity to display God’s love towards her by serving her in spite of what she said or how she hurt me. 

As children of God, we can be guilty of hurting our Heavenly Father and sometimes even saying those four words, “I don’t love you.”

But it’s in God’s nature to still love us, no matter what we do or say against Him. 

“When we realize how UNCONDITIONAL God’s love is towards us, we will remember how UNDESERVING we are of His Love.” – JudyLynn Cabal

I finished making the sandwiches and handed my daughter, hers, which she was grateful for. And just to make sure, I asked her if she loved me or didn’t love me.

She replied, “I love you, Mommy.” 

So the next time you hurt the Lord by saying or showing “You don’t love Him,” just remember, He’s saying, “But I still love you.” It is then we will quickly realize that an apology is the least we can do but is a great start to repairing the relationship.

1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Romans 5:8 – But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
1 John 4:7-8 –  Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
1 Corinthians 13:4  Charity suffereth long, and is kind;

 

***Featured photo by Ivan Jevtic Unsplash!

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11 Misconceptions of Full- Time Christian Ministry Workers

I didn’t have the privilege of growing up in a Christian home but I did have the privilege of attending a Christian school the last two years of high school. I have friends who are now in full-time Christian Ministry and others who are working at secular jobs. Over my “official” years of being in Christian Ministry, I have been constantly reminded of a few things.

I. I am reminded that surrendering your life to serve the Lord isn’t a burden, but a blessing. Yes, there are burdens that you will carry as a minister of Christ but the blessings He pours far outweigh any of those burdens.

II. Being called to serve the Lord takes faith. You are trusting that if you surrender to God’s call for your life,the Lord will provide the needs of you and your family.

11 MISCONCEPTIONS of Full-Time Ministry Workers:

      1. Since he/she works at the church, teaches at a private school, preaches at Christian camps or cleans the toilets at church, he must be “more-called” than someone who isn’t working in either of those areas.

No Christian is “more-called” than another Christian. God calls us to do different things and calls us, not according to who we are or what we are capable of doing, but according to HIS OWN PURPOSE, which he established BEFORE the world began.

Matthew 22:14 |1 Corinthians 1:26 | Philippians 1:6 | 2 Timothy 1:9

      2. Since you work in a Christian environment, everyone will be Christ-like ALL.THE.TIME.

NOPE! It’s best if everyone in your work environment is a Christian but sadly, even in Christian workplaces, there are unsaved employees or staff members. Your job is TO STILL BE Salt & Light. Someone once told me, “One of the easiest places to backslide is in a Christian workplace or environment.”  

Matthew 5:16

      3.  Since you work at the church and are getting paid for it, you should be part of most, if not all the ministries & no one else should lead those ministries except those on staff.

TOTALLY FALSE! I’ll be honest, I hate that mentality. As staff members of a church or Christian organization, our job is to assist the Pastor or Leader. Yes, we should SET THE EXAMPLE and be involved in the ministries provided but to DO ALL OF THEM or LIMIT THE LEADERS OF THOSE MINISTRIES to ONLY Staff members is unhealthy and absolutely ridiculous.

       4.   Since you are an employee at the church, you should be present EVERY. SINGLE. TIME the church doors are open. 

I remember trying to convince myself when I first started growing as a new Christian that I would be at church any time and every time the church doors were open… Although that isn’t necessarily bad, we can use that as our reason for serving… to make sure that we are “seen” any time and every time something is going on at church. If we aren’t careful, we become “PERFORMANCE” Christians rather than “WORSHIPPING” Christians.  We end up doing things for people rather than serving to worship God. 

Although church is great place to fellowship with other Believers, we should go to church for the main purpose of Worshipping God, not fellowshipping with others.

      5. Since you are a “Full-Time” Christian minister/worker, you must read your Bible all the time and live a consecrated life; or what others may consider, “not knowing how to have fun.”

Being a Christian doesn’t mean that you are NO LONGER Human. You are very much human! In fact, as a Christian, you have more to wrestle with… you are in constant battles with your flesh and the Spirit that now lives in you as a child of God.

There will be times when you will forget or fail to prioritize reading your Bible or praying.

There will be times when you will say things that you wish you would have never said.

There will be times when you give in to your flesh rather than being led by the Holy Spirit.

BUT, a Child of God doesn’t give up…

If you missed reading your Bible or praying one day, get back up and start again.

If you haven’t been in church in so long, get back up and start going again. (Don’t worry about what others may say)

And who ever said that Christians don’t know how to have fun??!??

We have the most fun! Sure, we may not be out there at the bars every weekend, and we are so glad we aren’t! Because who would want to party all night and wake up the next morning trying to remember what happened or “who” happened? Definitely, not me!

      6. Since you “get paid” to serve the Lord, you should be the one that’s faithful in giving your tithes and offerings. 

God did not just command those in Christian Ministry to be faithful in giving their Tithes and Offerings. He has called every  Christian to give. I mean if you read the verses after each of these verses, you would be crazy not to want to give back to God. After all, every thing we have is His.

Proverbs 3:9  | Malachi 3:8 |   Malachi 3:10  | Proverbs 3:9

        7. Since you have surrendered your life to serve the Lord, your kids will be upright and perfect and CANNOT or “ARE NOT ALLOWED” to make mistakes and be kids.

Puh-lease!!! Kids will be kids. For the longest time, I had these high expectations of anyone that was a Pastor’s Kid, Missionary’s Kid, or Kids with Parents in Full-Time Ministry. But I’ve come to realize that just because someone is a Pastor’s kid doesn’t make them more of saint than someone who isn’t a Pastor’s kid. Sure, we will have our expectations but we shouldn’t be surprised if “that” child acts just any other child.

       8. Since you work at church, your life is much more easier than the person who is working at a secular job, doing their best to be “Salt & Light.”

I’ve worked at both secular and ministry jobs. Being at a secular job takes a lot of courage because every day, you are bombarded with things of this world; temptations, curiosity, lust, etc. However, being at a ministry job still requires you to stand up when other “Christians” don’t necessarily act or talk like Christians; There are temptations many Full-Time Ministry Workers face and sadly sometimes, they are similar to what those at secular jobs face.

      9. Since you work in “full-time” Christian Ministry, you have “in” on all the drama and gossip that’s going around.

As much as many believe that, it’s not true to every Christian Ministry. In fact, many Ministry Workers would prefer not to know a lot of stuff, simply because it’s another “burden” they will have to carry. So, no! We don’t know all the drama and gossip in the church and as much as our “nosy”-selves may want to know, we really don’t want to have a part.

    10. Since you work in full-time Christian Ministry, you are more honored and preferred by visiting preachers than the person who just got off work and is sitting, trying to fight their sleep. 

Not true! Sometimes, visiting preachers may remember the names of those that are Ministry Workers easily because they can associate them with a title, such as Mr. D. Harriss – Youth Pastor. But that doesn’t mean that they are more appreciated than some faithful laymen who comes service after service, despite their busy work schedule. In fact, in my opinion, they have a deeper appreciation for those who work secular jobs and are still faithful!

11. Since you are in full-time Christian Ministry, you have more time to get stuff done and can easily serve the Lord.

Honestly, everyone has the same amount time – twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. Sure, doing stuff at the church is part of our “job” but that doesn’t mean that we have more time or an easier time to serve the Lord. Sometimes, working at a church is harder than it looks or sounds. There’s a constant reminder to be flexible, be available, and meet expectations on top of your regular life as a parent, spouse, or friend. So going back to the first misconception about Ministry Workers being “more called,” remember, before the world began, God already knew what your purpose was; what your calling was.

This post is in no way a means of comparing Full-Time Christian Ministry Workers and those working at Secular Jobs. It is not meant to put one “higher” than the other but to have a better understanding and to set things straight. Sometimes, what you think and assume isn’t really the truth.

full-time-christian-workers

These are just 11 Misconceptions. I am positive that there are more but if you are a Full-Time Christian Worker, no matter what some one expects from you, remember, you are REALLY, TRULY serving the Lord, not people. (But you must still show your good works to people, so that they may see Christ in you).

If you are a Christian who isn’t in Full-Time Christian Ministry, I hope you have a better understanding and different view of those who are in Full-Time Christian Ministry. Just like you, they are just trying to serve the Lord. They are just doing it differently. Sure, it may include their paycheck but it is God who called them. They could’ve easily fulfilled another calling but the highest calling is whatever God called you to do, whether it be in Ministry or at a Secular Job. 

***Featured Photo by Ben White on Unsplash!