Mom, You Matter!

Has anyone ever told you that you were unworthy, not enough, or that you didn’t matter?

I’m sure more often than not, you have been told either one of these; whether it be from a family member, a friend, or even a teacher. However, there is one person who whispers in our ears and if we aren’t careful, we listen to what he says and that is none other than the devil.

The devil would like nothing more for mothers than to see them fail at what they’ve been given. 

Moms have such a great influence whether they believe it to or not and whether they admit it or not. I mean, can you imagine a world without moms? I can’t, because that is impossible!

Mothers have a role that play a big part in the puzzle that we call Life. Without them, life would definitely be incomplete and be missing that one vital piece.

Now, there may be a few men reading this who play the role as both mother and father in the lives of their children. Please don’t shut me out.

From someone like me who was raised by a Father the majority of my life, I can honestly tell you that YOU MATTER! If you ever feel like you’re alone, remember that you are not. God is there to help you and guide you!

Psalm 16:11 says, “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”

Sure, you may not be able to meet the same needs as a Mother would, but if single-parenting is what God has put your way, all you can do is make the best with what you have.

Being raised by my dad for almost 20 years before my Mom came into the picture physically, did not result in the worst life ever for me. In fact, I am the person I am today because of the trials that God allowed me to face and the choices I made.

I admit that there were times when I questioned God because all my friends had a mom they could confide in, talk to whenever they were going through a girl-problem, or walk them down the aisle, Was it right for me to do that? NO. Was it human? YES.

And that is exactly what we are, Moms. 

WE ARE HUMAN. We make mistakes. We fail everyday and a lot of times, we become discontent with how we look. Now, don’t get me wrong. If you can better yourself, I’m all for you. But what I mean is, we tend to compare ourselves with other moms. We see how they seem to “have-it-all” together and here we are, barely “having it!”

“Although the pictures we see on Social Media can be worth a thousand words, many times, they don’t show ALL THE WORDS.” J.Cabal

A mom can have a smile on and the world can think she’s the happiest person but in reality, she can be struggling with something.

A mom can seem like she has the best job ever when in reality she’s barely making ends meet.

A mom can look like she has the “perfect life” with the “perfect family” but who are we kidding? There is no such thing!

We all have been given different lives but one thing we have in common is motherhood or parenthood.

The Bible says in Luke 12:48b, “For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required:” 

We can all agree that being a mom is a great blessing if not the greatest, which means that it is considered “MUCH.” And according to that verse, when much is given, much is required.

I don’t mean to put a lot of pressure but I’m just quoting the Bible.

GOD REQUIRES A LOT FROM US. You can take that as something to encourage you to be a better mom or you can ignore it and reap the results of YOUR PARENTING, without Biblical wisdom or guidance.

If God has given us such an important role, then that must mean one thing: WE MATTER!

MOMS, WE MATTER! We are more important than we sometimes believe. Your words matter and your actions matter! How you say something and when you say something matters! How you treat your spouse and how you talk to your spouse matters!

Your love, care, support, prayers, advice, and time matter! So…

Love unconditionally! 

Care Sincerely! 

Support Consistently! 

Pray Fervently! 

Advise when Necessary! 

And Give of your Time Willingly! 

I’ll end with this. God can easily do anything. He doesn’t NEED us but He wants to USE us for the sole purpose of bringing glory to His name! To be used of God is a privilege, not an obligation, which is why we have a choice. We can choose to let Him lead us or we can choose to be led by something or someone else. Whatever we choose, don’t forget, our choice will affect our children because WE MATTER and WHAT WE DO MATTERS!

***Featured Photo by London Scout on Unsplash!

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“I Don’t Love You.”

I don’t love you. The words that I never thought I would hear from any of my children, especially at a young age.  Words have a way to lift you up or bring you down.

Unfortunately, today, these four simple words pierced a hole in my heart when they came out of my 3-year old daughter’s mouth and were directed towards me.

Lately, my husband and I have limited what she is allowed to watch due to the negative influence some videos or shows have had on her. Bad parenting? Some say “yes”, others say “no.” But you, as your child’s parent know what is best for YOUR CHILD.

She was whining about something and I tried explaining to her that when she whines, the more I will NOT be able to help her. It’s difficult to understand what someone is saying or wants when they are crying and the same goes for children; in fact, the more difficult it is with children .

She cried for a good 5 minutes. I let her cry because sometimes, that’s what you have to do as a parent – let them cry and wait until they are ready to talk. I took her to a separate room while she continued crying and just waited for her to finish. Then, she said those hurtful words – I DON’T LOVE YOU.

At that moment, I didn’t know if I heard her correctly so I kindly asked her, “What did you say?” and surely enough, she said, “I don’t love you.”

CRAZY, RIGHT?!?

I sat there just staring at her and finally, I told her how mean and hurtful those words were. I could’ve blown up at my daughter but the Lord reminded me how many times I “said” those words to Him; maybe not verbally, but with my actions.

She did eventually cry again, but this time to tell me she was sorry and that she “LOVED ME!” After a few minutes, I got up to brew some coffee and make myself a sandwich. I figured my daughter would want one so I asked her and she replied, “Yes, please.”

As I was making those peanut butter sandwiches, God reminded me, “But I still love you” and that’s exactly how I felt towards my daughter and I had an opportunity to display God’s love towards her by serving her in spite of what she said or how she hurt me. 

As children of God, we can be guilty of hurting our Heavenly Father and sometimes even saying those four words, “I don’t love you.”

But it’s in God’s nature to still love us, no matter what we do or say against Him. 

“When we realize how UNCONDITIONAL God’s love is towards us, we will remember how UNDESERVING we are of His Love.” – JudyLynn Cabal

I finished making the sandwiches and handed my daughter, hers, which she was grateful for. And just to make sure, I asked her if she loved me or didn’t love me.

She replied, “I love you, Mommy.” 

So the next time you hurt the Lord by saying or showing “You don’t love Him,” just remember, He’s saying, “But I still love you.” It is then we will quickly realize that an apology is the least we can do but is a great start to repairing the relationship.

1 John 1:9  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
Romans 5:8 – But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
1 John 4:7-8 –  Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
1 Corinthians 13:4  Charity suffereth long, and is kind;

 

***Featured photo by Ivan Jevtic Unsplash!

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A Spiritual Spring Cleaning

As humans, we’re all guilty of complaining or murmuring every once in a while. We even complain about not having anything to wear when we have a closet full of clothes. We murmur about how we can’t find anything to eat when our refrigerators and freezers are packed with food. We covet the new gadget our friend has because ours is an older version.

You see the real problem is not the complaining or murmuring; It’s a lack of gratitude towards God.

I remember when I was in the 1st or 2nd grade, my grandma was my main guardian since my dad was in the Navy and out at sea for 6 months. We lived in a 1-bedroom apartment, along with several other relatives. I don’t remember much, but I do remember lying to my grandma about a field trip I had. I knew that she would not allow me (or at least I assumed) to go on that trip (it was a swimming trip). So what I did was I packed my backpack with extra clothes. Every weekday, she would walk from our apartment to my school which was about 10 minutes. Since I knew that we would be arriving 20 minutes before school ended, I planned it out so I had enough time to change into the same clothes I wore when she dropped me off in the morning.

Nobody taught me to lie. It’s just in my sinful nature. In spite of my wrongdoing, I am grateful for a gracious and merciful God.

The Bible gives a list of things that God hates. Now, hate is not a “crime” if you are hating on things that break God’s heart. No doubt, as the Creator and Maker of this universe, He has the right to hate whatever would draw us away from Him.

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Spring is here and we all could do some spring cleaning. As much as we may need to clean out our homes, offices, or whatever else, we tend to forget or neglect a Spiritual Cleansing.

Rather than focusing on having clean homes,  let’s start having clean hearts. 

And here is how you can start today: Proverbs 6:16-19

  1. Get rid of your pride. We all have it and sometimes it can take its toll and make us into someone we will eventually regret being or cause us to do things that will disappoint. At the middle or center of the word PRIDE,  is the letter “i.” How incredible is it that the whole agenda of the the person with pride is centered around one thing – themselves? In addition, NOBODY likes or enjoys the company of those that are prideful. Proverbs 16:18, Psalm 101:5,
  2. Stop lying. Whether you’re a young adult or an older adult reading this, we all need to be reminded that there is no such thing as a little white lie. A lie is a lie and God hates lying. Proverbs 12:19, 22, Proverbs 19:9,
  3. Stop shedding innocent blood. I am against abortion, simply because the Bible says it’s murder. There could be reason after reason as to why someone would commit abortion but it does not mean it’s right.  “Wrong is wrong even if everyone else is doing it and right is right even if no one else is doing it.”  I could go on talking about this topic but I’ll just leave it at that. Exodus 20:13
  4. Stop planning wicked things. Whatsoever a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Before someone does something wicked, they think about something wicked. Actions are a result of a desire instilled in someone’s mind and heart. Proverbs 1:16, Psalm 36:4,
  5. Start being wise. King Solomon is the wisest man that ever lived. However, he still did some foolish things. Many of us jump into something, before getting counsel or taking deep consideration. We become so quick to run to mischief and end up hurting ourselves and sometimes, those closest to us. Proverbs 12:15, James 1:5, Proverbs 16:9
  6. Stop being a false witness, speaking lies. Many times, people twist the meaning of somethings. Some use the phrase, “Please pray for so & so… or Have you heard”
    only to open up a can of worms. In reality, we don’t mean well when we say this; rather we are wanting to start the game of Telephone. This game can start off by having two teams or groups. Each group forms a line. The leader then whispers a phrase to the first person in line and that person is to repeat whatever the he/she heard to the next person and so on… The only catch is you are only allowed to say “the phrase” one time. The first of last person in each group to say the correct phrase wins. The point of this game is what you hear is not always the truth and when stuff gets spread, it becomes gossip and what was mentioned in the beginning becomes twisted, many times, far from the truth. Proverbs 16:28, James 1:26, Proverbs 20:19, Exodus 23:1
  7. Stop sowing discord among brethren.  I have heard that the only army that shoots down itself is the Christian army. As sad as that sounds, there’s some truth to that. How often do Christians criticize, discourage, or gossip about other Christians? It happens way too much in Christian circles and it ought not to. How is the world, (the unsaved) supposed to want to have what we have if we don’t act & live what we “preach?” Romans 16:17-18, James 4:11

So whether you’re the person with the cleanest home or the the person that is constantly trying to clean your house but stuff shows up out of nowhere, we could all use a Spring Cleansing of our Hearts during this season and we can start by applying this list.