5 Phrases Your Child Says & What They Mean

If you didn’t already know, I have two daughters; one who will be three in April and the other who turned one last year in October. Lately, I’ve been thinking about Words and the importance of them.

As a parent, we could either use our words wisely or foolishly.

“Our words can be helpful or hurtful.”

I have been observing my first-born and have noticed several phrases that she says and if I’m not careful, they’re just sounds rather than words with meaning.

If you can relate to me, I’d appreciate it if you would share this post to remind other moms & dads the importance of our words.

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“MOMMY / DADDY, LOOK AT ME!”

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They need AND want your attention. Children need AND want to know that they are being noticed; that someone is watching them and realizing their accomplishments or milestones in life. I am so guilty of being on my phone, sometimes around my children; (whether it be for work or to be on social media). While those aren’t necessarily bad, I wonder what my toddler thinks when I’m on my phone rather than pay attention to her? Moms, let’s do better and be better for them. The phone can wait… but the time with your child cannot be taken back.

“I DID IT, MOMMY / DADDY!”

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I didn’t have my mom around, growing up. I left the Philippines to come to the US, along with my dad & older sibling when I was 5 and we left my mom and two younger siblings. I didn’t get to say the words, “I did it, Mommy” when I got an award or won something at school. My dad was in the Military and most of my elementary to Jr. high years, my dad wasn’t around either.  So I didn’t get the “Praise” or “Congratulations” that I longed for…

Now, that I have my own family and am raising my two wonderful daughters with my amazing husband, I am careful to constantly give praise, encouragement, or congratulations when I hear the words, “I did it, Mommy!” However, I know that there is always room for improvement.

Children long for you to praise them; to let them know that YOU SAW the great deed that they did. Whether it be obeying you, helping you do chores around the house, or sharing with others, children want to hear something from you when they do or say something right. They want affirmation. I read online recently that “the lack of both parents’ affirmation leaves some children emotionally crippled.”

While I was emotionally effected that I didn’t have both of parents’ affirmation, I am so thankful that my Almighty God did not forsake me. (Psalm 27:10) And it is only by God’s grace that I am what I am today.

Not only do children want you to praise them, but they want you to sincerely mean what you say. They`want to see on your face that whatever comes out of your mouth is genuine, not two-faced or double-standard, which leads us to our next phrase…

“THAT’S BAD-BAD, MOMMY/ DADDY!”

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           Whether you like it or not or whether you believe it or not, you are your child’s role model. They look up to you for most, if not everything. Whatever you say, whatever you like, whatever you listen to or watch, they want to have a part in that. They truly believe in their heart that their mom and dad are the best people in the world (unless of course, they are hypocrites – they say one thing but do the exact opposite). In the case of hypocrisy… well, that’s for another blog post!

Children are smarter than we think. They catch on to the littlest things we do or say. Not only do you make it difficult for your child to respect you, but it becomes difficult on the family as a whole when the parents act differently from what they say.

We are not against Technology. In fact, my husband and I love it and are so appreciative of it! My daughter uses our iPad to watch videos on Youtube. If there is a certain song or type of song or video that comes on and Mommy & Daddy don’t approve of it, she knows to change it… Sometimes, she needs to be reminded but if you start training your children early enough, they’ll catch on. If you have children that are already in school and you feel like it’s too late to start training them, then friend, let me tell you that it’s not. There’s always hope. It probably won’t be as easy as if you had done it sooner but it’s NEVER too late to start. AND DON’T FORGET TO BE CONSISTENT and don’t let them get away with anything!

“I’M SORRY, MOMMY/ DADDY.”

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       Kids will be kids. They do foolish things at times but that isn’t a reason for us parents to love them less. In fact, it’s for us to show them more love. When a child says, “I’m sorry,” they are demonstrating humility. They understand that what they did wasn’t acceptable. However, it should’t stop there. As parents, we should ask them (don’t tell them, unless they really, absolutely do not know why) if they know what they did wrong. After asking them, we should tell them that when they do something wrong, it doesn’t just affect them. It hurts Mommy, Daddy, Jesus, and whomever they hurt or offended.

Remember, no one is perfect. You and I both make mistakes. So let’s stop expecting our children to be something they aren’t. They are still learning just as we are as parents. No one has this “Parenting Thing” down and neither is any child an expert at being a child. In addition, each child is different. God made each person unique. Some learn quicker, others slower; Some need more attention than others. So let’s not expect or treat them like they’re perfect, because that will only make things worse.

“MOMMY / DADDY, PLEASE HELP ME.”

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One thing I love and sometimes “dislike” (just because I don’t want use the word, hate) about children is their dependency on us as parents. When I first became a mom in 2014, I loved that my child depended on me to carry her, comfort her, and adore her but there were times when I was so tired that all I wanted to do was sleep but she wanted to eat, play, get her diaper changed, or be carried.

As the years went by, my first-born learned to be a little less dependent on me and a little more dependent on herself. Now, she can feed herself, go to the potty (still with a little assistance getting onto the toilet), and play house with her toys. All this self-dependency comes in handy when I want to take a nap or get some chores done.

But when I hear those words, “Please help me,” my child is trying to get her message across to me that she needs assistance or maybe just a little boost (physically or mentally) to accomplish something. What I love about doing this is hearing her next words, “Thank you, Mommy!” They are dependent on you for some things but when you assist them, they learn how to appreciate you and the help you give them. You don’t have to always tell them,“When someone helps you or does something nice for you, say ‘Thank you’,  you can just show them in your everyday life and they will catch on and remember that.

There will be times when they ask for your help when you are busy; you either have to tell them to be patient and wait till Mommy /Daddy is done or stop whatever you are doing and help them. I am guilty of sometimes getting frustrated when my LG asks for help during the “wrong times” (at least in my book), but she sees that and she remembers it. It may even cause her to think that asking for help is a bad thing when it really isn’t. Then, when we ask them, “Why didn’t you ask for my help?” They are thinking to themselves, “Well, when I asked you for help last time, you were too busy” or “I thought it was wrong to ask you for help.”

So, the next time your child asks for your help, do it lovingly and joyfully.

In conclusion,

  • Our words can either HELP or HURT others.
  • Your children WANT and NEED your attention; make sure you are watching them and realizing their accomplishments and milestones in life.
  • A word of encouragement can go a long way; Build your children up; don’t tear them down.
  • Children are smarter than we think or care to admit. They learn a lot more by what they SEE, rather than what they HEAR. Be an example that they would be proud to follow.
  • Kids will be kids. They will do foolish things which is why God has placed PARENTS in their lives – to teach and train them.
  • The days may seem long at times but the years are short. Cherish the moments with your children. Don’t get frustrated when your children depend on you. You have the opportunity to show them the Greatest love of all, Christ’s love and how we also depend on Him as our Heavenly father.

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***Don’t forget to share this post on Facebook and Pinterest if you found it to be helpful.

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***Featured photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash!

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Moms & Dads, This is Your MOST IMPORTANT REMINDER

My first daughter, who will be three in April recently started calling me “MOM.”

When she was still a baby, my husband and I would compete and try to get her to say, “Mama” or “Dada” first. (I mean which first-time parents don’t do that, right?)

We have two daughters now and none of them had “Mama” as their first word. LG’s first word was “Dada” and AJ’s first word was “juice.” How, you may ask? I HAVE NO IDEA! Lol!

After the “Mama” stage, you anticipate when they’ll say, “Mommy” and get excited about it, but when LG started calling me, “MOM” (consistently) a few days ago, it was a different kind of feeling. I felt “sad” to witness my first-born growing up so fast right before my eyes. It wasn’t like an “unhappy-sad,” it was more like a “happy-sad/don’t-leave-me-ever” kind of feeling.

A quote I came up with last year was:

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As a mom or dad, we need to keep in mind that our children don’t belong to us.

YES, you might have given birth to them;

YES, you provide for them financially;

YES, you send them to school and help them with homework or projects;

YES, you provide shelter for them;

YES, you feed them multiple times a day;

YES, you teach them how to drive and maybe even buy their first car;

YES, you might have helped a little financially for their wedding;

YES, you are the one that is there during their sad times and happy times, during their victories and losses, during their special moments…and not-so-special moments.

YES, you are their MOM OR DAD…

YES, you do the “work” of raising them…

But before you even became their mom or dad, your child(ren) were already on God’s mind.

HE is the Giver of Life.

HE is the Giver of Strength.

HE is the Giver of Finances.

HE is the Giver of Wisdom.

HE is the Giver of Children… yes, YOUR CHILDREN!

So why do we as parents hold on to our children as if they are ours?

If we just remember that we are only BORROWING them from the LORD, we might be BETTER STEWARDS OF PARENTING THEM.

Generally, parents think that they have 18 years, at least, to be with their children. After that, it’s college life and possibly meeting their future spouse and spending the rest of their lives with that spouse.

18 years. You have: 

216 Months or

939 Weeks or

6570 Days or

157680 Hours or

9,460,800 Minutes or

567,648,000 Seconds

Possibly left with your child(ren).

“The days are long but the years are short!”

So why not spend those years…

INVESTING on,

IMPACTING, and

INFLUENCING

your child(ren);

rather than

DISCOURAGING and

 DESIGNING THEM?

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As parents, we only desire the best for our children; but which best? “Our” best or “God’s” Best? Because God’s Best is so much more and better than ours. So let’s stop thinking that it is our job, duty, or responsibility to MAKE  our children what they need to be.

You see, we make that mistake. We think that God gave our children to us so we can make them into the “masterpiece” that maybe, we failed to be or our parents failed to raise us in becoming.

God gave us our children so that we can “train” and “teach” them the way that they should go…(Proverbs 22:6) not the way that we want them to go.

So remember,

  • Children are a gift FROM GOD. (Psalm 127:3)
  • We are only borrowing our children; They are not ours for keeps. (Psalm 127:4)
  • We have a limited time with them. Make the most of it! (Deuteronomy 6:7; 11:19)

I love what Jack Wellman says about this verse here.

  • Raise the children God has given you in the nurture and admonition of the LORD. (Ephesians 6:4b)
  • Our job is not to MAKE our children what we want them to be but what God has already planned for them to be. (Joshua 24:15; Genesis 18:19; Malachi 2:15; Romans 12:2; Matthew 6:33)

 

***Featured photo by Nathan Anderson on Unsplash!

Stop Being a Continual Dropping!

Repetition is the key to learning, right?… or wrong?

I have found this to be a little controversial in marriage with one specific area…(at least in MY marriage). I’m sure most, if not all wives have “NAGGED” their husbands at one time or another during their marriage. I, for sure am guilty of it.

Nagging has a ripple affect just as raindrops do. You start and then you just go on and on and on… even about the really minute things!

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Whether it be my husband leaving clothes on the floor, leaving a light on, forgetting to hang something up, so on and so forth; I have nagged him and I’m actually surprised he hasn’t said anything back in our almost 4 years of marriage; at least nothing that would be considered as “biting back.”  (He knows better.. Just kidding!)

He has graciously accepted my nagging.

Now, before you judge my husband, I encourage you to read this article I found recently about not being a “Butthole Wife.” The Title may sound a little funny but it was such a great reminder to me, as I am sure it will be to you.

As a former Elementary teacher, Repetition was a key method to use for a lot of things… However, we can’t treat our spouses like our Elementary students (even when they act like it).

At this moment, you may be wondering what a “CONTINUAL DROPPING” is.

No, it’s not when a bird poos continuously, or when your newborn baby has non-stop diaper changes… or when you have diarrhea! Haha!

I looked up the phrase, “Continual Dropping” in the Bible and found it twice in the Book of Proverbs.

Proverbs 27:15 -“A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”

It’s been raining a lot here at our place and I actually have enjoyed it (mainly because the sun still manages to come out). Now, if it rained here for a whole week straight… I may not enjoy it as much.

If you think about it, if you’re the type of wife, fiance, or girlfriend that is constantly nagging your other half, I’m sure that relationship will be full of strife. Just as a continuous rainy day may not be as enjoyable, a contentious woman is the same – she’s not really an easy one to live or deal with.

Proverbs 19:13b – “…the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.”

I can’t even remember how many times I’ve nagged my husband, and caused contention between us… mainly for me because I set certain expectations that my husband doesn’t really obtain; not because he doesn’t want to but because our priorities for certain things may not be on the same level. For example, after coming home from a long day’s work, my husband may just want to change into comfortable clothes right away to spend time with our girls…Now, I, on the other hand, may want him to help me clean up around the house. (Of course, some of you may be thinking that we just need to communicate that to each other) But that’s not my point… my point is… his higher priority coming home from work is to spend time with our two daughters whom he hasn’t seen all day… And honestly, I would rather prefer that than arguing with him about his leaving clothes on the floor.

Lately, I’ve been thinking… how can I NOT BE a continual dropping as a wife and as a mother?

So, here are 3 ways that I have been “trying.”

  1. Thank God for giving you another day to live. I am positive those that passed away at the airport shooting in Florida weren’t anticipating it to be their last day. It really breaks my heart that someone would do something like that, with no thought of the sanctity of human life. I pray for their families. Each day that is granted to us is a blessing from God and this is a blessing that sadly, many of us forget to thank God for. But how different would our days go if we started with a grateful heart? I’m sure they wouldn’t be perfect all the time but we get to choose how we react to the tasks that we are given or the obstacles that come our way.

828dc91d8dafae6d9eb5d22ecdeb2dad2. Treat every day with your spouse and your children as if it was your last day with them…  I have been saddened to hear news of people passing away because of illnesses or dying due to car accidents, weather accidents, etc. If we just thought about each day as it were our last with those that mean the most to us, I am POSITIVE that we would live it differently and treat “THEM” differently AND better!

3. Train yourself to walk in someone else’s shoes for  “a mile.” Ok, I don’t mean that “mile” part literally but I won’t stop you if you choose to. But really, before we judge someone or treat someone a certain way, think about how their day went (at work, at school, at home…) or what trials they may be going through. How sad would it be for a husband or wife to be treated better at their workplace than at home, right? But sadly, it happens EVERY DAY! A home should be a place that people should look forward to, not dread! The next time you feel frustrated because of your spouse’s lack of _____________ (you fill in the blank)… think about how their day was at work (it may not have gone as well as you think). Or the next time you get angry at your children for doing _____________ or not doing ___________(you fill in the blanks), think about how they feel when both of their parents work… or when they’ve been cooped up in the house “ALL DAY.”

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So, if you’re a wife or mother, (especially) I encourage you to

Stop Being a Continual Dropping!

 

BECAUSE IN THE END, You’ll realize that it was just a waste of your time.

Time that you could’ve used to enjoy picking up those clothes on the floor.

Time that you could’ve used to just “see the need, take the lead” and turn off the unused lights or hang something up.

Time that you could’ve used teaching and forgiving rather than being angry and regretting what you said later on to your little child who was innocent and just needed a little encouragement or push to do the right thing.

TIME…. that unfortunately, you cannot take back. You have already lost it and there is no re-do button.

Instead, you can just press forward with the REMINDER that

TIME IS VALUABLE AND MUST BE SPENT WISELY.

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***Featured Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash!

My TWO and A HALF year old teacher…

Hi Friends!

I apologize for the lack of blog posts. It has been a crazy week already, which began last week (before Thanksgiving). Let’s be honest, Thanksgiving Break isn’t really a “break” when you’re cooking, cleaning, moving out, or preparing for a busy week of “Viewing” Services for people that have passed away. TWO Families from our church lost a loved one on the same day – and in addition, 2 days BEFORE Thanksgiving…  😦

Please keep them in your prayers, especially as the Holiday Season is upon us.

On another note…

Today was the start of a “Weekly Routine” that I would like to do with my children. On Wednesdays, I don’t go into work until the afternoon and I didn’t really see how much could be accomplished and how many memories could be made on days like these… UNTIL TODAY!

As usual, we got up, ate breakfast, watched a little “Kid’s Netflix” and got ready for a Fun Day. Lately, my oldest daughter, LG, has been saying how she’s tired after waking up from a good night’s rest or an afternoon nap…

 Uhm… I’m thinking, “Girl, why you tired?” LOL!

Well, after FINALLY getting ready, we headed out!

BabyGirl AJ wasn’t having it in her carseat. She cried the whole ride to the park (which was like 5 minutes… haha)

And when we finally got there, I was so excited to have the whole park all. to. ourselves! (Woot Woot!)

We got in… and LG (who is 2 1/2) went straight for the slides! AJ (who just turned 1 in October) was playing with and trying to eat the stuff on the ground…

I mean, Can they  be ANY MORE different?!?

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After a good hour or so of playing on the slides, swings, and dirt… 

I told LG that it was time to go…

She said, “Shure up, Mommy!”

I thought to myself, Did she just tell me to “Shut up?”  Wanting to make sure I didn’t hear that, I asked her again what she had said and she said…

“Chuur up, MOMMY!”

Phew! I was so glad she didn’t say, “Shut up!” I was relieved but also curious about why my 2 1/2 year-old was telling me to C-H-E-E-R     U-P…

But then it hit me… When I was telling her that it was time to go… I must’ve had a sad face. And she knew to tell me, “CHEER UP!”

I thought to myself, “Weren’t you just born yesterday?!? PLEASE stop growing too fast!”

I’ve heard story after story about children who are grown, thanking their MOM for the love & INFLUENCE she gave them.

And TODAY was just a reminder TO ME that “Mommy-ing” isn’t easy but is definitely worth it.

Have you heard the saying, “Do as I say, not as I do?”

Well, if you haven’t, there you go!  As I was thinking about MOTHERHOOD, I thought about some things my LG was picking up from me – like mannerisms.

I’m the type of person that when frustrated or angry could say things that I will end up regretting. But lately, it’s what I’ve done.

Some times, when the kids spill something, I can get “in the flesh”  or “on the edge” (as pictured below) and not really yell or curse (NO! NO!) but I get disgruntled and I “Grunt” or say “Ugh” and sadly, I’ve heard LG say that and when I hear it, it’s not pleasing to the ears.

AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I SOUND if I’m not careful.

So there she was at the park, telling me to “CHEER UP!” Inside of me, there was some excitement as I’v never heard her say those words before but also some sadness that she’s quickly growing up and quickly picking up on everything… what she watches, what she sees, hears, gets exposed to.

As parents, we need to be careful how we live. If we want our children to turn out right, then we need to set a good example because we are their ROLE MODELS whether we like it or not. We can’t expect what we don’t inspectLead by example and be a good example.

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So my point is… Don’t let it be too late for you to start TEACHING your children…

THE RIGHT THINGS

THE RIGHT WAY

AT THE RIGHT TIME… and that time is NOW!

I thank God that He used my little toddler to TEACH ME a lesson about motherhood today.

***Featured photo from Annie Spratt on Unsplash!